And now, why this blog is named what it is.

Because, frankly, my ankles (and particularly my right one) SUCK.

Having had my first run in with miserableness at the cost of my ankles in the first grade, it goes without saying that waiting until I was 23 to do something about it was not the smartest move. That being said, I went to my 4th orthopedist for the same problem since 1998 today, and it seems that I'm finally on the way to doing something about the chronic pain which IS my life. The prognosis is NOT that I have tendonitis, as was stated by the previous 3 orthopedists that I have seen, but instead that I am MISSING AN ENTIRE JOINT IN MY ANKLE. Which explains SO much. It seems that when we are babies our bones resemble cartiledge much more than they resemble bone. As we age, the bones fuse and/or seperate to become, you know, our skeleton. So, basically, a bunch of bones in my right ankle didn't do that and I am therefore missing a joint and my legs have had to compensate because of it. My right leg compensated by chipping in various parts of my ankle and becoming generally ridiculous and my left compensated by actually developing tendonitis and becoming tight and rigid to support myself since my right leg can't. This prognosis required TWO doctors poking and prodding me at 8 am this morning, including one delightful moment that involved me seeing STARS and screaming it hurt so bad, several x-rays which had me wondering what was worse, being exposed to xrays or covering myself in a lead shield, and having an awkward conversation with my dad about his imminent purchase of a new home with his ho.

Anyway, I'm getting a CT scan on Wednesday morning, and by Monday they should know what's definitely going on in terms of surgery. But, as it stands, they will do orthoscopic surgery on my right ankle and then my left to remove the bone spurs, bone chips, and general detrius from the damage I have inflicted upon myself since I started dancing in 1990. After surgery I will have to take a few days off of work (what a shame) to recover, and then will have to hobble around on crutches and wear some sort of cast. As soon as rightie heals, then it's lefty's turn. So crutches are going to be my new fashion statement this spring. Maybe they'll make my arms buff. I'm not exactly thrilled about this whole thing, especially since it's not a permanant fix; since the problem is congenital, inevitably the problem will return after a while. I've known that for quite some time, and that's what's kept me from going any with this further before. But the problem has gotten to the point where I'm in pain all the time and swimming has become virtually impossible (it turns out it was never so great for me to begin with). So, there's no time like the present, it seems. Amusingly, the doctor told me that after I heal, bike riding would be great and not painful. Too bad I can't ride one, dipshit.

Upon leaving the doctor's office, my dad gave me a whole tirade about insurance companies and how I'm really going to have to stay on top of my claims, because otherwise I'm going to end up losing a whole mess of money. I had my first taste of it already; the doctor wrote me a perscriptions for air casts to be worn for the next week or so, which theoretically will help to diminish the pain that I'm in. Apparently nowhere near my office takes my insurance, and Bigelow, which is near my apartment, takes no insurance whatsoever. So that's helpful. But I've got the situation under control-I called Almarc and the air casts are being delivered to the Gumdrop so I will get them from my dad tomorrow. But dealing with my insurance company on the phone made me wonder, do you think customer services representatives ever get pissed at other customer services representatives who they have to call for whatever reason? And wouldn't you think that would make them want to be better CSR's so that they don't single-handedly make ALL of America hate them by virtue of their incompetance? I really think it's one industry where people should really be striving for excellence. Or, do they inherently think they are better than whichever CSR they're dealing with? These are the things I ponder while at work and bored. I need a new job.

(incidentally, does anyone read this other than Kate with whom I am going to Katz's tonight?)

Just curious.